Your Call Cannot be Completed as Dialed

I've been carrying my phone around with me for two months now. Waiting. I know the call will come soon.

In March, she was given six months. She knew and I knew and they knew that six months was extremely generous. When you're down to a few bites of yogurt and a few sips of water, it's only a matter of time before everything shuts down.

My Mom and I have never been close. Throughout my life she has told me that she hates kids, and doesn't try to hide the fact that people, all people, irritate her. When the woman who brought you into the world repeatedly tells you that she hates kids, it's a constant blow to the heart.

My Mom and I have never been close. Every few years when we wind up in the same room, it's an awkward and painful time for both of us. Nothing is really said. There is no laughter. There is no connection.

My Mom and I have never been close. But. When we talk on the phone a few times a month, the conversations are fabulous. We connect. We share. We laugh. Do you remember that time.... you won't believe what happened to me today... I am reading the best book.

During these calls, the woman on the other end of the line becomes the Mom I always wished I'd had. The voice I hear is a source of comfort and it gives me hope that someday her heart will soften and she will jump in her car and race to see me and wrap her arms around me.

I've been carrying my phone around with me for two months now. Waiting. I know the call will come soon.