Leaf Bug!

I believe this little guy is a leaf bug... please correct me if I'm wrong on this! I have only seen pictures of them in books, so imagine my surprise when I saw him on my walkway the other day. He is hiding in the bush in the picture I previously posted. Now do you see it?

Do you see it?

Home at Last

We adopted this lovely young lady from Best Friends Animal Sanctuary. She's 11 months old, and she was found wandering around a hotel parking lot severely wounded.

Someone had aimed a shotgun at this precious girl and shot her. Best Friends did extensive surgery on her to remove all of the buckshot but there are two huge pellets in her tail and one in her leg that they were unable to remove.

I'm glad that she finally feels what it's like to be truly loved.

Loss

Well, she's gone. Really gone. It's finally starting to sink in, that I will never talk to my Mom again.

One of my favorite things was talking to her on the phone. We would talk once a week or so for a few hours. We never ran out of things to talk about. I loved making her laugh. I would hear a good joke or something crazy would happen at work and I would write it all down and wait until our next conversation to share it with her.

She has been gone for 2 months now, but I still find myself writing down the funny stuff that happens in my life and waiting for our next conversation. I know that although I can't physically pick up the phone and call her, she hears me. She's still here.

I dreamed of her the other night. My phone rang and I picked it up...

"Hello?"
"Hello" she said, laughing.
"Mom?"
"It's me," she said, still laughing.
My brain ran into overdrive... was it really her? Did she not die?
"You'll never guess what happened," she said. "I've found a way to communicate with you. I can call you in your dreams."
I was too stunned to answer. I just sat listening as she laughed through the phone in an alternate universe created in my dreams. It was so good to hear her voice... to hear her laugh.

I hope she calls again.

Your Call Cannot be Completed as Dialed

I've been carrying my phone around with me for two months now. Waiting. I know the call will come soon.

In March, she was given six months. She knew and I knew and they knew that six months was extremely generous. When you're down to a few bites of yogurt and a few sips of water, it's only a matter of time before everything shuts down.

My Mom and I have never been close. Throughout my life she has told me that she hates kids, and doesn't try to hide the fact that people, all people, irritate her. When the woman who brought you into the world repeatedly tells you that she hates kids, it's a constant blow to the heart.

My Mom and I have never been close. Every few years when we wind up in the same room, it's an awkward and painful time for both of us. Nothing is really said. There is no laughter. There is no connection.

My Mom and I have never been close. But. When we talk on the phone a few times a month, the conversations are fabulous. We connect. We share. We laugh. Do you remember that time.... you won't believe what happened to me today... I am reading the best book.

During these calls, the woman on the other end of the line becomes the Mom I always wished I'd had. The voice I hear is a source of comfort and it gives me hope that someday her heart will soften and she will jump in her car and race to see me and wrap her arms around me.

I've been carrying my phone around with me for two months now. Waiting. I know the call will come soon.

Roots

Ran across this the other day... not sure if there's any validity to it, but thought it was very interesting. What are YOUR roots?

All Aboard

Trying to stay positive. Upbeat. Trying to see the bright side of things. But, sometimes it's hard when you see the light at the end of the tunnel and you realize it's an oncoming train.